Dealing with Anger
Defining anger, what the bible says about it and how to deal with it.
Dan
12/28/20234 min read
Anger is an emotion we all experience. It is not necessarily a sin though. In fact, some anger is good. But how do we tell the difference? What does the bible have to say about it? I will explore what anger is and how God wants us to handle it.
Defining Anger
Most people associate anger as a negative emotion. Anger is your emotional response to a negative event in your life. It will raise your blood pressure and may even make your face turn red. An angry person may also react impulsively and irrationally. It can ruin relationships, your career and even get you into legal problems. But it does not have to be negative.
Anger can be an incredibly useful emotion as it can fuel you. Used properly, it can help you set boundaries and assert yourself. Coaches take statements made by the media or opposing players and put them up in the locker room to motivate their players. Social groups use their collective anger at an injustice to create change. It can even trigger our flight-or-fight response to protect us.
What Makes Anger Good or Bad
Anger itself is not a sin. In fact, Jesus loses his temper in Matthew 21:12-13 when goes into the temple and finds that people are using it as a marketplace. He overturns the tables and kicks people out saying that they had turned the temple into a den of thieves.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-Chapter-21/
What makes this OK? Jesus is standing up for what is right. Righteous anger is anger that is directed at sin, injustice, or actions that oppose God's commandments. The temple of God is supposed to be a place of worship. The money changers are defiling it by using the temple to make money.
For us, I think righteous anger comes more in the form of helping others. When a natural disaster strikes, we see images of destroyed homes, people without basic necessities, and basic lawlessness. Our hearts go out to the victims. We use anger at the situation to prompt us to act. People may travel to the location to assist others. Others may raise money to aid the victims. Scientists may even explore new ways to prevent such disasters in the future.
Righteous anger is a two edged sword though. On the one hand, it motivates us to fix an injustice. But it can also lead to unrighteous anger as well. Unrighteous anger affects us and the ones around us negatively.
A recent example of unrighteous anger would be the George Floyd incident. This event shook the nation to the core and brought out extreme emotions. Some good came of it. Police departments and other organizations became more accountable for their actions. Groups pushed for social change. But there were also riots and the burning of neighborhoods. How does this help? It caused our nation to become more fragmented when it needed to come together.
A Biblical example of unrighteous anger would be the Cain and Abel story. Cain was a farmer and Abel was a shepherd. Each of them gave an offering to the Lord. For some reason, God looked more favorably upon Abel's offering. This angered Cain and led to him murdering Abel when Abel had done nothing wrong to Cain. This led to God punishing Cain.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Genesis-Chapter-4/
The difference between good and bad anger is easy to see. With righteous anger, the anger is channeled in a constructive way. Change is brought about and people are ultimately protected by it. Unrighteous anger is self serving and brings about pain and destruction.
How to deal with Anger
There are several bible verses we can use to learn how to deal with anger:
1) Ephesians 4:26
This verse explains the fact that God does not want us to hold onto anger. This ties into forgiving one another. It is OK to be mad at wrongdoings. We should be willing to defend ourselves and others who need help. But holding onto anger hurts the soul. We grow bitter and harden our hearts. We turn away from God.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Ephesians-Chapter-4/
2) Matthew 5:22
The first part of this verse explains that it is a sin to hold onto anger and reinforces item #1 from above. The second part of the first talks about talking poorly of others. As with my first article “What is sin”, it is not only our actions that cause sin. Our words and even the feelings we have in our heart are known to God. Forgiveness is key!
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-Chapter-5/#22
3) James 1:19-20
I love this verse. James says that we should deal with anger by the following 3 principles: We should be:
Swift to hear: We need to listen to the other person carefully. Are we jumping to conclusions? Are they having a bad day? Are they frustrated and do you just happen to be in their way? Their anger may not have anything to do with you.
Slow to speak: Don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind. You can’t take it back. If you are sarcastic, swallow it. Make sure you understand the situation before you talk.
Slow to wrath: Jesus tells us if someone strikes us, we should present the other cheek. In other words, don’t overreact. Be the bigger person if you can.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/James-1-19/
My Parting Words
I used to be a very patient, loving person. I was also naive and did not stand up for myself. I grew into an angry person. Then life kicked me hard time and time again. My heart hardened towards everyone including God. I gave up. It has taken a lot of work, some really wonderful friends, an understanding family, counseling and God to help me turn the corner. But the journey has been worth it. Help is out there, but you have to make the decision to ask for it.
